I received an invitation to the Harpers Champagne Summit some months ago, but it was the promise of tasting some old re-releases of Moët et Chandon that convinced me to go. I’m glad I did. The day was full of discussions and masterclasses, celebrating all aspects of Champagne as a brand, a money making opportunity, and as an essential addition to the restaurant wine list.

I only really went to taste the numerous Champagnes put on show, but suffice it to say that Harpers had scheduled a genuinely excellent day of events, complementing perfectly The International Sparkling WIne Symposium at the end of last year, which, I feel, judging from the itinerary (I couldn’t go this year), had a focused science and winemaking slant. The Harpers event was aimed more at the restaurant and the consumer. They don’t appear to step on each other’s toes. Which is nice.

I don’t usually go to the seminars because, after a glass or two, I tend to stick my hand up a lot. Not so much as an annoyance or to contradict the speakers, but more like a good-natured Irish Setter barking, not quite endearingly, at the back. Despite this, and I’d had a couple, I attended a masterclass entitled “Considering your Champagne range/assessing footfall drivers” given by the erudite Richard Bampfield, Master of Wine. I really enjoyed it. Richard, was brilliantly engaging and personable without endulging in flim flam. He made clear, positive observations that I’m sure will help every restaurateur and merchant in the room.

Did I interrupt him? Of course. And sniggered throughout to the delicious Ashika Mathews to my right. What pearls of wisdom did he share with his audience? They were many, but the ones worth mentioning were thus.

1. Champagne brands are the ultimate ninjas of wine marketing. Take Moët et Chandon for instance. The Jet Li of wine. Their wines aren’t labelled Non-Vintage and Vintage. To do away with the negative and arcane connotations of both, they call them ‘Brut Imperiale’ (Imperial Dry) and 'Grand Millésime’ (literally 'Great year’). Brilliant. 
2. Wine is the perfect gift. The recipient knows it’s expensive. Even shit Champagne is. It is glamorously packaged, heavy and substantial. Let’s face it, unless they are in rehab, everyone is glad to be given a bottle if Champagne. 
3. It’s not really a wine, is it? It’s strangely more more than that. Like a Patek Philippe Watch, or Grey Vetiver Cologne from Tom Ford. You can find something that does the job just as well for a fraction of the price, but that’s not why we buy it is it? It’s also for sharing. How many people do you know who drink a bottle of Champagne on their own at home? Yeah, I know that there’s always one, and she’s (it’s usually a she) close to the dictionary definition of mental. Or rich. Or both. So. Merchandise it somewhere else. Away from those pesky Vins Paysans in the corner. Supermarkets now increasingly display their fizz behind the concession counter by the spirits. This is partly for security and partly because they recognise that it is an impulse buy, most of the time.
4. Despite the packaging constraints, requiring the bottle to withstand the pressures of the insides of an aircraft tyre, the Champagnois have managed to be more innovative than virtually any other wine region. Take this for example… 
   I know it’s been around awhile, but yesterday was the first time I actually tasted it. Through a straw, almost lukewarm. I liked it. Um, what? Yes. You heard me correctly. The combination of very high dosage (confusingly labelled Extra Dry, which I think is about 16g/l of sugar) and slightly high alcohol (12,5% abv) makes for very appealing 'apple fool bellini’ drinking. I know that it looks like Geri Halliwell in a dress, but it’s the flipping Olympics, and none of the other stuck up wankers are doing anything about it.  I think it’s the best thing that Pommery does. Nearly. See next blog for a couple of rare exceptions.

For those nerds that want to hear which wines I liked at the tastings and why, I’ll deal with you later.